The Cable Guy

If I could do it all over again, I would have pursued a trade. Maybe become a hair stylist, but only if I could sit down while I cut.   A plumber might be good, but not if I had to put my hand in a toilet.  And I think I’m too afraid of getting shocked to become an electrician.  

But a computer technician would be a smart career.  They’re in high demand, likely employed for life.

When our internet service went down, I made the dreaded call to Verizon.  I should know by now that that’s not my best move.  Actually I do know that by now.  But it was my day off and my husband kind of dared me to do it, by implying that I would get eaten alive by Customer Service.  Remember, it’s not our computer.  Keep putting it back on them.  If only I knew exactly what I was putting back.

I’m pretty good in a tense situation.  I maintain my cool and don’t usually get too pissy.  But the flip side   is that I can’t always scare people into giving me what I want.  I don’t always have what it takes to get all up in anyone’s grill, especially when it involves a computer.

So I can’t get swept up in their good manners and exotic accents.  They are seated at desks, far away from my frozen DSL cable.  That alone should get me worked up, but it doesn’t.  They are so polite, talking to them feels very removed from my frustration at Verizon.  I know I need to stay focused on the problem, but I’m just not a good angry consumer. 

The really pleasant Anita doesn’t help matters. She never interrupted, and in fact waited at least 12 seconds before responding, saying things like “Ok now kindly go to your tools bar”  “OK, now please, if you will, click the Advanced Controls”   Soon I was carried away by her unending patience, feeling privileged to have met her.

Before I knew it, I was dripping with sweat, hooking and unhooking wires, listening to Anita’s polite voice from the speaker phone, directing me what to do.   While I fumbled with the tangle of cables, afraid to get a shock, I wondered how I had become a computer technician on my day off.  I also wondered why the computer technician was the only one not being paid for this call.  I think that’s what it took to finally get me angry. 

Folded over a file cabinet, my head hanging upside-down in back of the “tower”, I was searching for some wire that was supposed to plug into the router.  I was also searching for a filter on the phone and a reset button on the modem. 

I had stopped searching for the day off that had somehow slipped into cyberspace.  Actually, I think it had found the lovely Anita who was sitting at her desk calmly ordering me around, probably playing Solitaire.     

Megan Davis Collins successfully cleared a browser history and reset a modem, but that’s it.