Will Write for Food

Good Morning. Today is a very important day. This is the day that I make the transition from writer to author. I have declined some job offers and avoided alternate career paths to do this. I just set up a blog, although I have no idea how to use it. I feel like I have the keys to a really nice car but haven't learned how to drive, so I am playing around in the front seat, turning up the radio, putting on the wipers, spraying the windshield, looking around to see if anyone notices. I am about to jump into the backseat. Good thing I have a cell phone with me so I can call someone for a ride.
I have two intstructional books sitting on my desk, waiting for me. I am not supposed to be on the computer right now. I am supposed to be writing, which I am, but no, actually I am supposed to be authoring. So I will go do that. Once I learn how, I am going to post my columns and short essays on this blog. If you have the address to this blog, you are probably related to me, by blood or marriage. Or you are here because you are kind. Or you told me once that you like my writing, so I am inviting you to come view this totally cool whenever you want. OK, my husband (JTC) just called to find out why I had called him.
ME: I had a question about starting a blog but I think I just did it.
JTC: Where's the blog?
ME: Right here.
JTC: You need a website to have the blog.
ME: No, I have a blog. I don't have a website, but I created a blog.
JTC: But there has to be a place to go to get the blog.
ME: Yeah, The view from 129.
JTC: Yeah but you need a website to house the blog. The website is the coffeeshop, the blog is the people chatting in the coffeeshop.
ME: Well, we are just chatting on my blog. I think you can just go to my blog. [If I am in this new car, JTC is the nosy neighbor from down the street tapping on the window to inform me that I need a place to park my car, but since I can't drive the thing, I am getting annoyed with the nosy neighbor]
JTC: You're not understanding me
ME: I understand you but I thought the blog was the place where people go. Yeah, there it is. I found it! It's blogspot.com then all that other stuff...
JTC: Ok so you're blogging on someone else's website.
ME: And you are making too much noise in my coffeeshop. I know I need a website, but I have to just start with a blog. It's a miracle that I even did this on my own. Now I have to go out write something.


We decide to meet later so he can help me. Meanwhile, I have already called my sister to find out if my name should be cutesy or professional. A little of both. But now I suddenly want to be anonymous in case it sucks. I am sweating in this new car, fidgeting with these keys. There is even something called a dashboard (I'm not kidding look up on the right side). Then, JTC decides to refer to Sarah Palin. He is not comparing me to her, of course not, but she has a great consultant and is apprently structuring her entire politcal future on Twitter. I let out a whimper. Please not Twitter.

Just let me do my blog.